Violets

Life and love are life and love, a bunch of violets is a bunch of violets, and to

drag in the idea of a point is to ruin everything. Live and let live, love and let love,

flower and fade and follow the natural curve, which flows on...

- D.H. Lawrence

There are some days that you have to force yourself to stop looking for reasons and explanations. You have to stop making excuses for other people and for yourself. You have to stop wondering and analyzing and theorizing and speculating. You have to just stop, and remind yourself to breathe. You find stillness, even if it's only a tattered shred and it's only cowering in some dark lonely corner of yourself. You accept that you're not in control, and you let go of the desire to try. You tell yourself that it's okay to feel like you're plummeting without a parachute, because the truth is, there was never any ground below you.

And then you take a deep breath, and you swear that you learned a lesson, and you trust that things are unfolding as they should, and you begin again.

The Path to Love

For this week's edition of "Things I Wish I'd Written" and also "If You Want Me to Warm Up To You, Talk to Me About This Book" I would like to share an excerpt from Deepak Chopra's "The Path to Love". This book changed my outlook and restored my convictions by confirming everything that my heart had told me all along. It answers the questions: How can I love without being attached? How can I be whole if I find someone that makes me feel like more than the sum of two parts? Please read this book. Grab a copy before the holidays and keep it in your purse or in your desk drawer at work. Read a few pages while you're waiting for the subway or in the doctor's office. It's like a warm hug when there's no one around to hug you. This book won't tell you how to find what you might be looking for; it will teach you to be happy with what you already have. The following is from the book's Forward section.

Falling in love feels like an accidental occurrence to many people, but in spiritual terms it is not--it is the entrance point to love's journey. Romance has several distinct phases of its own for us to explore--attraction, infatuation, courtship, and intimacy--each partaking of a special spiritual significance.

In the dawning of the next stage, falling in love turns into a committed relationship, usually marriage, and the path changes. Falling in love is over; being in love begins. Spiritually, the word 'being' implies a state of the soul; it is this state that a couple learns to nurture through surrender, the key word in every spiritual relationship. Through surrender, the needs of the ego, which can be extremely selfish and unloving, are transformed into the true need of the spirit, which is always the same: the need to grow. As you grow, you exchange shallow, false feelings for deep, true emotions, and thus compassion, trust, devotion, and service become realities. Such a marriage is sacred; it can never falter because it is based on divine essence. Such a marriage is also innocent, because your only motive is to love and serve the other person. Surrender is the door one must pass through to find passion. Without surrender, passion is centered on a person's craving for pleasure and stimulation.

With surrender, passion is directed toward life itself--in spiritual terms, passion is the same as letting yourself be swept away on the river of life, which is eternal and neverending in its flow. The final fruit of surrender is ecstasy: When you can let go of all selfish attachments, when you trust that love really is at the core of your nature, you feel complete peace. In this peace there is a seed of sweetness perceived in the very center of the heart, and from this seed, with patience and devotion, you nurture the supreme state of joy known as ecstasy. This, then, is the path to love described in much greater detail in this book, although it isn't the only path. Some people do not fall in love and enter into relationships with a beloved.

But this does not mean that there is no path for them, only that the path has been internalized. For such people, the Beloved is entirely within themselves from the very outset. It is their soul or their image of God; it is a vision or a calling; it is a solitariness that blossoms into love for the One. In its own way, such a love story is also about relationship, because the final realizations are the same for all of us. To realize "I am love" is not reserved only for those who marry. It is a universal realization, cherished in every spiritual tradition. Or to put it most simply, all relationships are ultimately a relationship with God.

Say Yes

Reason #256 To Be Grateful: Be grateful for the things that truly move you. Poet Andrea Gibson has the tendency to move me beyond words, so as an introduction, I'll use an excerpt of her own:

This is for the man who showed me the hardest thing about having nothing
is having nothing to give,
who said that the only reason to live
is to give ourselves away.
So this is for the day we'll quit our jobs and work for something real
and for the ones who've already begun songs that sound something like
people turning their porchlights on and calling the homeless back home.
This is for all the shit we own, and for the day we'll learn how much
we have when we learn to give that shit away.
this is for doubt becoming faith
for falling from grace, and climbing back up.
For trading our silver platter for something that matters
like the gold that shines from our hands when we hold each other
...
This is for no becoming yes,
for fear becoming trust.
For saying i love you to people who will never say it to us.


Enjoy.

Fill What is Empty

As you breathe each moment in and out, look to your soul and see what's inside. What is abundant in your life right now? What are you grateful for? What do you need more of? As the answers flow to you, fill what is empty and empty what is full.

- David Ji

Lately I'm fascinated with the "bright spot" theory. Discussed in the book Switch: How to Change Things When Change is Hard and applicable to business, government, social issues, relationships, and life, this theory states that instead of finding what's broken and fixing it, you should instead find what's working and duplicate it.

This is the idea of positivity applied to problem-solving. The bright spot theory gives us hope when we can't find what's broken, or when we find it, but don't seem to have any duct tape on hand.

When you're feeling a sense of loss, of being broken, of lack, or of heartbreak, it's important to remember all that you're grateful for. It may seem oxymoronic, but knowing how much we have can help make a painful void feel a little more bearable.

So this week, don't just momentarily dwell on the things you're thankful for. Search deeply for these things and duplicate them. Take action. Clone the abundant areas in your life, and fill the voids. Gratitude is a dynamic tool for growth, not just a static feeling of appreciation. Even in darkness we can be grateful for the stars.

Happy Thanksgiving.

A Lullabye

Her sleep is like the rain, sweeping

down in sheets. The sheets are cool

and baby blue, sheets the shades of sleep.

When she closes her eyes, her leaden

lids, the calm comfort of the moments

before she dreams holds her hand, warms her

and takes her once again. Here,

the shades, not just of baby blue, but gold

and silver – mostly silver – wash behind

her heavy lids like the ocean’s warm

and welcome waves. Now she relaxes, she

releases all the rich and simple things she thought

before she slept. She lets the waves wax

and wane while the moon watches, while a silver

mist falls lightly. And just as suddenly as it started,

sleep leaves,

just as water – now lukewarm water – drains from

the hems of line-hung laundry. As the silver

fades to baby blues and her leaden lids try

not to lift, she remembers just the water, and she waits

just one day longer

until the tide creeps in again,

over sheets the shades of sleep.

- Love, b.

(Photo Credit: "Expansion" by Paige Bradley)



A Little Light

If you find yourself in darkness, you can wait for the sun, or you can be the light.

Be the Change

Let me start by saying that this post is not intended to be self-serving or a gratuitious advertisement for anyone or anything. Yes, I may be slightly biased, considering that the person this post features happens to be my own personal superhero, bear-hugger, and grin-inducer, but nonetheless - this blog is devoted to featuring the good and the beautiful in life, and, my readers - this is good.

Keith Donohue grew up in a pleasant, comfortable neighborhood on the outskirts of Washington, DC. Like so many, as a young adult he worked the 9 to 5 job for several years, but unlike the majority, he did so without complaint. I can personally attest that he often turned our office into a fiesta, and seemed to always have something new and interesting to teach you every time you walked past his cubicle. (For more on Keith's contagious office positivity-via-Post It's, check out amazing blogger Laurie Davis' recent post.)

However, in recent years Keith began to sense that something in his life was lacking. He was drawn to philanthropy, and his love of event planning led him to single-handedly devise and host numerous fundraisers for a variety of non-profit and admirable organizations. The lives that Keith has already touched are endless, but it ain't over yet. Read on.

Eventually, this path led him to resign from his comfy office job and pursue a more fulfilling livlihood in the arena of positivity and philanthropy. The first product of the new life: Positive Present. Keith founded a company he named after his core values, and Positive Present already maintains a "Give Blog" through which Keith commits selfless acts and grants wishes for the unsuspecting, while experiencing eye-opening realizations for himself along the way. Positive Present will also soon launch a line of innovative and unique positive affirmations apparel for yogis and athletes.

But that's not all. Under the Positive Present umbrella, this spring Keith will embark on a journey called 50Give that will take him to all 50 states (plus Mexico, Canada, and DC) and during which he will volunteer for a different organization in each location. His meals will be unplanned and uncertain, his car will become a dual-purpose hotel on wheels, and his face will - more often than not - be unshaven.

Keith is letting go of his safe life and moving forward with a life of giving, and this is why I chose to devote today's post to his endeavors. He is a brave example of a person consciously choosing love over fear, and that is what this blog is all about. Through him, I've learned that my definition of "love" may not match everyone else's, but that I must respect it as love nonetheless. In the end, where there is selflessness, there is love - regardless of the object of love.

So KD, I speak for many when I say that we will miss you tremendously as you travel, but I also speak for many when I say "Thank you." It is people like you - those who aren't afraid of fear, who aren't intimidated by change or overwhelmed by the bigger picture, who know the value of a positive attitude - that create real, substantial change.

Much love. And bring me back a panda.

For more information on Keith Donohue, his endeavors, or how you can support the epic 50Give journey, please check out the following:
50Give Support - How to donate, spread the word, or come along for the wild ride
Positive Present Give Blog - Keith's random acts of selflessness
Triple Charity Crush - A unique race-driven event created by Keith
Positive Present on Facebook - Become a fan. One click can start a revolution.